1. When u kiss us for the first time we close our eyes from a second then open one to see if ur eyes are closed, if they are we get the thumbs up that u like us back and add more passion to the kiss thats why some girls realise first kisses getting better with every second that passes by.
2. In a relationship whenever a girl is away from us they’re always on our mind, no matter how hard we try, she’ll always be the first thing we think of in the morning and the last thing before we fall asleep sure guys tell girls this but its not bs if a good guy tells you this while looking you straight in your eyes hold onto him cuz hes the one who will cherish every moment he spends with you and will remember every second. ♥
3. don’t be afraid to tell us what’s wrong. whether were your bf or best friend if someone hurt u in any way we will fight for you and even if we end up in the hospital we wont care because we know youll be right by our side when wake up. no matter wat you can trust a guy tht cares for you well always be there to catch you when you fall. ;)

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Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML

Jay-Z: Can’t Knock the hustle

Shoppin sprees, copin three, duece fever I guess it’s fully loaded, Ah yes, Bouncin in the lex luger, tires smoke like buddhe, 50 g’s to the crap shooter, niggas can’t fade me, chrome socks beamin, through my peripheral I see ya schemin, stop dreamin, i leave ya body steamin, niggas is feenin, whats the meanin, i’m leanin on any nigga intervenin with the sound of my money machine

White Translation

I spend a lot of money. I have a nice car. I drive a lexus with really nice tires, I’m a high roller, You guys can’t stop me, I have nice looking rims. I know you want them, You guys want my riches. I will kill you if you do anything to keep me from making my money.

Snoop Dog: Wit Dre Day

Your bark was loud , but your bite wasn’t vicious, And them rhymes you were kickin were quite bootylicious, You get with Doggy Dogg oh is he crazy? With ya mama and your daddy hollin’ Bay-Bee, So won’t they let you know, That is you fuck with dre nigga you’re fuckin wit Death Row, And I ain’t even slangin them thangs, I’m hollin one-eight-seven with my dick in yo mouth, beotch

White Translation

You talk a lot but you can’t back it up, You can’t rap well, You must be crazy to try and mess with me, I will kill you. Your mum and dad will be crying at your funeral, If you mess with Dr. Dre you are messing with every rapper on our record label. I don’t sell drugs, I will yell MURDER as you preform oral sex on me. Bitch.

Lil Jon: Get Low

Lil Jon- Get Low To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall), To the sweat drop down my balls (MY BALLS), To all these bitches crawl (crawl), To all skeet skeet mother f*cker (motherf*cker!) all skeet got damn (Got dam), To all skeet motherf*cker (motherf*cker!) all skeet got dam (Got dam)

White Translation

I want everyone in this room dancing, I’m going to dance so much that perspiration till be dripping from my testicles. I want all the women in the club to get low to the floor. I want to have sex then ejaculate on a woman’s stomach, I want to have sex then ejaculate on a woman’s stomach

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If someone text’s you a poem written by them, they truly do love you. It takes a lot of thought to write out a good poem!

If you’re ever talking with your crush, and your crush asks you this one sentence, then there is a 99% chance that he/she likes you, and you’ve got yourself a date!

“Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?”

1. The reason people ask this question is because they want to know if you are taken or not!

2. ANOTHER reason why people ask this question is to let you know that they are interested in you!

Barb Dwyer
Pearl Button
Hazel Nutt
Ray Gun
Helen Back
Stan Still
Jo King
Lee King
Terry Bull
Mary Christmas
Max Power
Paige Turner
Sonny Day
Tim Burr
Teresa Green
Will Power
Anna Sasin
Chris Cross
Doug Hole
Justin Case
Barry Cade


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1. The French Kiss
Probably the most famous kiss there is, the French kiss is an open-mouthed kiss where one person’s tongue touches the other person’s tongue. Also called a “tongue kiss,” the French kiss easy enough to execute, but it can take years to master.

2. The Butterfly Kiss
To give someone a butterfly kiss, get close to them so the tips of your eyelashes are touching theirs. Then blink very fast so your eyelashes flutter together like butterfly wings. It’s a fun, cute thing to do while you’re catching your breath from more traditional kisses. You can also give someone a solo butterfly kiss by fluttering your eyelids against their cheek.

3. The Single-Lip Kiss
To give someone a single-lip kiss, take one of their lips between yours and gently suck or tug on it. It’s an awfully romantic kiss, and if you do it right, you’ll send tingles up and down your sweetie’s spine.


1) For all we talk about how hot guys are. We mostly care about there personality. Though a hot body is a plus

2) We are just as shy as you are about relationships

3) Many of us don’t let you see us cry, unless we want you to comfort us

4) We like dropping small flirts, to see if you are interested. But we will later deny it or make it into a joke


No.10 – Wolfmother – “Joker & the Thief”

No.9 – Puff Daddy (featuring Notorious B.I.G.) – “Victory”

No.8 – Metallica – “Master of Puppets”

No.7 – Kanye West – “Stronger”


10. All lesbians have penis envy; they just want to be men.
No, we don’t. We are women who like to be with women. Who said anything about men? So guys have dicks, so what? It’s not like I can’t walk six blocks and buy a dick of my own. Plus, I don’t have to worry about being too small, coming too early, or getting it up. If anything, men want to be lesbians.
9. I am totally cool with lesbians, I just think two guys fucking is gross.
Do you really think that makes us feel good to hear that? While many lesbians might also be less than excited about fucking men, we are still a part of the gay community. We don’t care about your approval, and you are not any less homophobic just because you get hot about the idea of two chicks going at it. You know what I think is gross? Your impudence and stupidity.
1. You looked NOTHING like your picture on your online dating profile.
If the girl has some sort of weird camera angle in her online dating pictures, guys: turn and run. There is usually a good reason why a girls pictures look like Pablo Picasso arose from the dead, bought a cheap $25 digital camera and decided to experiment with photography. I am not trying to be mean here, it’s just that everyone in life has different preferences in the opposite sex. As cheap and shallow as it may seem, I want to have a fairly good idea of what you look like before we go out. Still think I’m being mean? Look at it this way: If you were in line behind me at the grocery store and we made eye contact and you found yourself not physically attracted to me, would you be inclined to carry on a conversation with me and give me your phone number at the end? It works both ways, sweetheart.



1. She kicks you in the balls.
2. She threatens to kick your balls.
3. You catch her outside the kitchen.
4. You catch her playing COD on your account – ruining your KD ratio.
5. She refuses to make a sandwich when ordered.
6. She drinks your last beer.
7. She forgets to iron your clothes.
8. She refuses sex with you.
9. She doesn’t swallow.
10. She tries to understand football.
On a serious note, it is NEVER OK for a guy to hit a girl!!

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1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her 1 of your sweatshirts
5. Kiss her slowly.

1. Swim with dolphins

2. Scuba dive on Great Barrier Reef

3. Fly Concorde to New York

4. Go whale-watching

1) When there’s only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.



1. Being funny. You can have all the confidence you want, but it isn’t worth anything if you can’t entertain the girl. Being funny is a girl’s best source of entertainment from you. But don’t be a clown.

2. Complimenting the girl. They love this much more than you think.