1. Why yes, I am single.
2. No I was not just watching porn.
3. I’d love to meet your parents!
4. Yes, I am still listening.
5. I’m not drunk.
6. I have no idea who drank all the milk.
7. I’m not in it for the sex.
8. Of course I’ll call you!
9. Your friend Sara is a model? Oh, I didn’t even notice her incredibly trim physique and perfect breasts.
10. You do not look fat in those pants! Don’t be ridiculous!
View Facebook Page:Top 10 Lies Men Tell Women

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed!
She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!”
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
What Was In The Box?

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He says: “Who’s your daddy?”
It’s creepy, cliché, and instantly makes us think of our dear old dads, which is obviously a total turnoff. Plus, when we’re getting it on we want to be treated as your dirty partner in crime, not a newbie.
He says: “What now, you’re crying?”
Maybe it’s because we love you, maybe it’s because we’ve never had a better orgasm in our life, whatever. Doesn’t matter what our tears mean, just be considerate.

(Click "Read more" to see full text)

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1. I fell asleep on it and when I woke up all my drool smudged all the ink.
2. My internet access was down (for emailed assignments).
3. I left it in my shirt and my mother put the shirt in the wash.
4. I gave it to a homeless man to line his hat with.

A couple months ago my friend’s cousin (a single mother) had gotten a new cellphone. After a long day of work, she placed her phone down on the counter and started watching T.V. when her son came to her and asked if he could play with her new phone. She told him to not call anyone or mess with the text messages and he agreed to do so. At around 11:20 P.M. when she was getting tired, she decided to tuck her son in and go to bed herself. She proceeded to his room to see that he wasn’t there. She went to her room to him sleeping on her bed with the phone in his hand. Browsing though her phone, she noticed only minor changes such as a new background, banner, etc. and headed towards the picture section. She began deleting the pictures he took when she came across the last one. When she first saw it, she couldn’t believe it. It was her son, sleeping on her bed but it was as if the picture was taken by someone else above him. It shows the left half of what seems to be an elderly woman’s face.

Click the image below to see full size

1. Vocalize your enjoyment! Listening to a woman bellow in ecstasy “I’m … COOOOOOOMING!” is as good, if not better, than the sex itself.
2. … but don’t forget that other people in house/apartment nearby will hear you, especially if he is awkward about that sort of thing.
3. NO. TEETH. (What are you, eighteen? You should know that by now, really.)

1. There is a Santa Claus, but he’ll only visit you if you’re good.
2. This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you.
3. Mommy and Daddy are taking a nap.
4. If you tell me the truth, you won’t get in trouble.

10. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.
9. Hey, is that a 9mm? That’s nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
8. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
7. Sorry officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.